Be careful what you wish for…

I’ve found myself, no, I’ve caught myself thinking recently about when I was ill with M.E/C.F.S with a certain sense of loss. Before I go on further, let me point out that this is insane! However there are reasons for it: firstly I think my essential nature is one of discontent, as if my default setting is on negative. I learnt a long time ago that this isn’t necessarily one of right ingredients for a happy and fulfilling life so I work on a daily basis at changing my ‘setting’ to a positive one. Secondly, with illness comes a lack of responsibility as in not able to work, less decisions to make and an excuse, if you need one, to bow out of anything.
A less conscious reason for ‘reminiscing’ about being unwell is because that was when I got to rest a lot and I’ve been overdoing it recently and have started to realise, with some difficulty, that I need more rest. Of course, me being me, I ignore that need (probably part of what got me into the whole M.E thing in the first place) and storm ahead regardless. Fortunately, the healthy part of me keeps muttering away in the form of fantasies about resting until I finally let go and surrender to giving myself what I need. Maybe a little too late as today I’ve relived what it was really like to live with M.E; not just like having a lovely rest but struggling with sore joint and muscles, brain fog (I’ve been packaging up a couple of orders, do you have any idea how difficult that is when your brain is full of mushy peas?) and fatigue. It’s been a very good reminder of what life used to be like. No weaving – not a chance…little communication…no life. Well I’m not having that back!!
So I’ve arranged a week off work (fortunately I have wonderful colleagues), a follow up phonecall with my Lightning Process trainer and a GP appointment. The Lightning Process is about appropriate energy, not like taking speed, which is kind of how I’ve been (mis)using it.
There we go, I’ll keep you posted.
Ok onto crafty things. The Tour de France has started, very excitingly in Yorkshire this year (how that makes it the de France Tour, I have no idea but what do I know?) which also means, more excitingly, the Tour de Fleece has also commenced. This is a Ravelry spinning challenge , where spinners of all shapes and sizes set spinning goals, share their progress and cheer each other on during the cycling race. I’ve joined the ‘Weaving in the Saori Way’ group team and have set myself the challenge of spinning something every day, to be woven into a piece of Saori inspired cloth for our bedroom curtains. So far I’ve spun up some alpaca, while I was awaiting my merino tops to arrive, and plied it with some cashmere just to free up my bobbins.

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My merino is now here and looks a bit like this:

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There has been some stunning spinning shared on the Ravelry page, I’m loving it so far.

3 thoughts on “Be careful what you wish for…

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