Monthly Archives: February 2017

WIP crack awaaaay!

Following a change in one of my boobs, I went for a mammogram recently (all clear thankfully) and though I wasn’t unduly worried, while ‘tidying’, aka moving around, some yarn I caught myself thinking ‘if I have cancer then I’m casting on that shawl right away’. That shawl being Exploration Station by Westknits and the yarn being this:


It then occurred to me that this was such a ridiculous thought. Why on earth do I need to wait until I have cancer before I cast on another shawl?

It’s a little like housework; I have never been an especially houseproud kind of person and I can’t imagine lying on my death bed regretting I hadn’t hoovered under my sofa on a regular basis (something that never happens, I know there’s a small dog under there but if it gets cleaned up another one will only appear). Frankly life is too short and energy too precious.

So I’ve eased up on myself WIP-wise, hence two new sock projects, a new spinning one and yarn ordered for another shawl (this time the Transition Stash Buster, yeah I know it says stash buster but you know…).

As someone who has previously worked in mental health, I am all too aware that self imposed rigid rules are a recipe for all kinds of issues including depression and anxiety, certainly as a contributing factor anyway. As I have started noticing mine I’ve realised I have quite a few, from eating pizza only on a Friday night to always getting up out of bed every morning even if it’s to have a cuppa then return back to bed on a bad day.

I think they are a way of creating a sense of control over my life, something that anyone with a chronic health issue struggles with as you never know how you’ll feel tomorrow.

On the whole most of mine are functional. It doesn’t hurt to get up every day, even to discover that it’s a bed day as sometimes I can discover I feel better downstairs, and eating pizza every night is a fast track to heart disease but some I can really do without. So here’s to numerous WIPs, SABLE (stash acquisition beyond life expectancy) and UFOs (unfinished objects).

In the meantime, enjoy a photo of what will soon become a very rare finished object. Happy knitting.

Dear diary…

Oh man I’m having a grumpy day today. Probably not the best time to write a blog then, if you’re a sensible person…I’ve never been accused of being sensible so here goes.

I’m not grumpy about anything specific, it’s just a day where I find most people annoying.

One of the reasons I object strongly to the idea that M.E is a psychological, whether partly or otherwise, is because, to coin a phrase, I’ve done a lot of work on myself. Some of that included learning how to be angry as our culture tends to discourage angry women. We can be kind, compassionate, caring, and within reason funny (although not too much as that would be threatening right?), but not angry. 

So I quite enjoy it now, as long as I don’t act inappropriately it’s kind of fun, and feels a little like being naughty.

Right onto ‘proper’ stuff. I realised that this blog is becoming more about M.E (me me meeee!) than anything else and as it reflects what’s going on here then it’s pretty inevitable. Life is very dictated by my health and my activities shaped accordingly.

It’s been a very quiet weekend as Mr Weaving Heart kindly drove me all the way to Inverness on Friday for a posh haircut. Now this is a big trip for me and requires resting before and afterwards. My hair is one of the ways I’ve adjusted things to fit with my health, I now have short hair (and getting shorter) as it’s so much easier to look after and I was slightly anxious about how I would manage sitting in the hairdressers for a wee while. I get orthostatic intolerance – basically unable to remain upright – so wasn’t sure how this would be but it actually went fairly well. One of the paradoxes of M.E is that I can run on adrenaline, and do this for quite a while, adding, of course, to the myth that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with me. It’s very useful as long as I don’t do it too often and this was one of those days; my hair cut took less time than expected so I had a little spare time before my lift arrived and quite happily walked over the bridge and back feeling ‘normal’. It was lovely and quite bittersweet as it reminds me of how I used to feel prior to chronic illness.

Contrary to how I may come across, I’m actually very content with life. It’s been five years (five years!!) since I was diagnosed and having travelled through the various lifestyle changes that come with this, I’m now very grateful I don’t have to force myself to work anymore. I have a comfortable and safe (especially important as so many don’t) home with a life partner who accepts my illness and doesn’t see it as defining me.

Everything from Netflix and social media all contribute to a sense of community as well. There are some great M.E groups on Facebook and I’ve just started participating in ‘Spoonie Mail’ where I exchange proper letters (I know right? Such a long time since I’ve done that other than the odd card to family) with others living with health conditions. It like having lots of pen pals all over again and writing letters gives me a good way of hopefully bringing a little joy into someone else’s life; I know how exciting it is to get post that doesn’t arrive in a brown envelope.

Right, as I need to add a few photos to this I’ll give you a brief update on my FO’s and WIPs. Firstly, I didn’t  immediately cast on that shawl I mentioned last time but managed to get the socks finished.


I’m a complete convert to the Fish Kiss Lips heel after my friend recommended it. It’s so much quicker than a more traditional heel flap gusset thing except I’ve discovered that unless I ensure my measurements are completely on point then they don’t fit well. It’s less forgiving, as I discovered with this pair – one sock fits perfectly, the other is slightly shorter and is, well, annoying. I guess I could frog the toe and reknit but life really is too short.

So having completed a project I had the perfect reason to start a new one, never mind the half dozen or so that are currently on the needles. So here’s my Peachy shawl, using the yarn originally intended for a cardigan (Shusui) that was completely frogged.


It’s very similar to the cardigan pattern, being written by the same designer, and is a top down brioche garter stitch combo. It’ll be very snuggly when finished and hopefully perfect for keeping my shoulders cosy in bed.

Right plenty enough for now, I hope you’re having a slightly less grumpy day and I’ll be back very soon. Thanks for reading.

Guilty knitting

Guilt is a funny old thing. Here I am happily knitting along when wham! I get the overwhelming urge to knit socks.

That’s fine. As a good friend pointed out, I’m missing a small project on the needle right now so socks are perfect for that. 

Ok so one more WIP justified…


…However…I’ve finished one sock (in the most gorgeous yarn from Stranded Dyeworks) and I now want to cast on another shawl; not content with the two blankets, other shawl, second sock that are on the needles right now. Hence Guilt.

This thing is, it makes no sense. Who cares how many projects I have on the go right now? Why does it matter? The thing is it doesn’t, but try telling that to my conscience.

Anyway, guilt aside. On a mission to find the perfect sock yarn, I encountered Yarn With a Curse. I did, I really did. The first yarn I considered was a new skein that had arrived a couple of weeks earlier (yes I was on a yarn diet, it’s gone out of the window, but more of that another time). However, I have this thing about keeping speckled yarn for shawls so decided against it.

I had a brief rummage through my stash and found a beautiful skein that I’ve been saving for a special occasion (because a new WIP is always special). As I was pulling it off the shelf, a bag of fibre from a completely different part of the shelf flew out and hit me on the head.

Then I ran into all kinds of trouble when I came to caking the yarn. It got into all measure of tangles never seen before and I ended up having to chop it four times. 

By this time I was a little concerned, and scared. However, I cast on, using Petunia Dursley’s Double Eyelet Sock pattern with the needles recommended and knit the first couple of rounds. It was tiny. I mean really tiny, like big enough for a leprechaun kind of tiny. 

So I admitted defeat and ended up using the yarn I’d originally thought of. Which tells me I should just follow my heart, so I’m going to cast on that shawl I was thinking about…